So you say you're one of the many unmarried graduate students at TEDS. You say you're not that good looking or you take yourself too seriously or you kind of smell like a horse. Maybe you don't meet women well or you forget to brush your teeth or you find yourself talking about Halo a lot when you get in social situations.
That's okay. Not everyone can get a girl as beautiful as Robin Meade. I have a website for you to check out, a church singles group you can get plugged into, and a woman you can write to for advice.
However, do not, and I repeat, DO NOT, under ANY circumstances, use your pitiful excuse for a love life to help justify stalking the undergraduates of Trinity International University.
I know, I know: they're young, they're pretty, and they're just right across the street. It's a matter of convenience and I understand it. That still gives you no excuse to turn into a TEDophile. Just don't do it.
Don't.
When I was working on my M. Div. at Cambridge I couldn't get a date to save my life. That's right, the Don was one lonely dude. When you're as brilliant as I am, it's just hard to find women who are willing to listen to you talk about Greek verbs, aspect theory, how bad the Emerging Church is, and how right you are about pretty much everything you say.
But then Joy came into my life. Thankfully, she had a slight hearing problem and was able to tone me out most of the time. But that's beside the point: she saw how pitiful I was and had mercy on my lonely heart and my brilliant mind.
Gentlemen, you can learn a lesson here: don't become the creepy seminary student. Become the pitiful one; the one with a heart of gold, a brain of wonder, and a love life of crap. Then maybe, just maybe, some hot undergrad with a slight hearing problem will take mercy on you, too.
But if you must date an undergrad student, let HER pursue YOU. When it's the other way around, you just look pathetic.
And a little creepy.
