Friday, September 7, 2007

An Open Letter to Sterling Franklin

It's become quite clear, my dear Sterling, that you think you're very cute: bragging on Facebook about how many shots you stole from me in our game of badminton and how many shots you felt that I missed.  Never mind the fact that we were on the same team: you have to seek the glory.

That's fine.  I understand.  People of your young age who haven't accomplished in their entire lives what I have in the last six months can understandably feel the need to build themselves up while tearing others down.

But know this Mr. Franklin: I let you have those shots, and I purposely missed other ones in order to conceal my secret.

That's right: the Don is one wicked badminton player; I rock the racket, I knock the net, and I shock the shuttlecock (no, that's not dirty; that's badminton).

In China, where badminton is actually popular, they call me "The Dragon."  Sure, they call a lot of people "The Dragon," but they really mean it when they say it about me.  I've trained their Olympic team for too many years to count.

Sterling, if I'd been serious about playing this weekend, do you think I'd have worn slacks?  I mean, c'mon, everyone knows I would have put on my badminton competition Speedon.  Just be glad that I didn't come wearing that (for several reasons)!

I'm sorry I had to be so frank, but I really needed to make an example out of you, Sterling.  Just because you think you've shown up an old man in a crazy game that essentially is a slowed down version of tennis doesn't give you the right to go bragging about it all over the internets.

You never know when you'll awaken "The Dragon."

You've been warned.

Sincerely Yours,
The Don/Dragon


Anonymous said...

"the internets"


Sterling said...

This made...

(1) my mom's day when I read it to her over the phone
(2) my girlfriend's day when she read it
(3) my friends' days when they read it
(4) my day since it was so hilarious.

Regardless, I really wonder what Dr. Carson -actually- thinks about this blog. He's taken a lot of satire for its humor value in the past.

Anyway, since it's looking like a Romans 14 issue (note: looking like), I applaud you taking it down, but I agree that it's unfortunate. Regarding this type of humor, maybe something less dramatically related to an actual person (a characterization) would go over well with everybody...but probably not. I dunno.

Yup. God bless you, and I pray that you're very blessed in your prayers, ministry, family, and the like.

- Sterling C. Franklin
Servant of Jesus Christ 4LYFE! :)
Romans 8:11