Friday, August 10, 2007

Smite Alert: Fred Phelps

I don't want to brag, but being as close to God as I am sometimes has its advantages.  For instance, sometimes I get a certain...sense about things.  That's right: the Don can tell when someone's on the verge of having a good old fashioned, Old Testament, Ten Plagues kind of smiting.

So I'm chilling this week at the Cheltenham Bible Festival and I get an email from my buddy N. T. Wright.  We've disagreed on some theological points in the past, but we're both big fans of using initials for our first and middle names so it's all good.

So Tom tells me I need to check out this article about Fred Phelps.  In case you've been living in a cave or you don't love God enough to remember who that is, he's the guy who pickets funerals with his little inbred church and holds up signs that say "God hates Fags" so that the glory of the Lord can shine for all to see (sarcasm).

Turns out old Fred is planning on picketing the funerals of the folks who died in the Minnesota bridge collapse.  Not because they were homosexuals, mind you, but Fred seems to feel that homosexuality in the States is the reason the Good Lord caused the bridge to collapse.

You see folks, Fred is the very definition of fire kindling.  I don't want to say it's definitely gonna happen, but I get this...sense.  If God took out Ananias and Sapphira for lying about an ain't looking good, huh Fred?


mark said...

okay, I realize you aren't the real Don Carson, but this is hilarious! keep it up, Fake Don!

Anonymous said...

I'm guessing this is like the TEDS version of Fake Steve?

Well, it could've been lame, but I like it so far. Tell "Tom" Wright we said hello! Ha!

Anonymous said...

I got a facebook message saying I should come check this out.

Funny stuff, man. I can't decide if you know Dr. Carson or if you've had him for a class or what. Who are you? I'm sure you won't say, but you've definitely sparked my curiosity.

Hope you keep spitting out the fake Carson posts.