Sunday, August 12, 2007

Why RateMyProfessors.com is Garbage

So a few years ago some genius got a great idea to start a website where students could freely exchange information about which professors they should or should not take.  Students could rate a professor based on clarity, easiness, helpfulness, and even hotness.  It made the academic community sick.

You see, us professors basically excel at dominating our students based on three things:
  1. Fear
  2. The Unknown
  3. Fear of the Unknown
So when some smarty-pants college kid thinks he can put a dent in our timeless system by starting up a website that allows students to know what they're in for before they're in the middle of it, us educators aren't going to stand for it.  What did we do about it?

Well, for starters we regularly got on RateMyProfessors.com to leave fake ratings about ourselves and our colleagues.  It's hilarious for us all to leave feedback on one professor that says he's easy only to see a ton of students take his class and fail it.

How else do you explain my ratings on the website?  D. A. Carson, the Don, one of the greatest criminal masterminds professors of our time is only rated a paltry 3.2 out of 5?  That alone should let you know the scores are fake.

I found the comments to be riotous as well.  One "student" wrote:
"His oral quizzes are worded for ambiguity, although he does not recognize the ambiguous nature of his questions, which can be a source of frustration."

That quote can't be real!  Of course I recognize the ambiguous nature of my quiz questions!  Can't you guys hear me chuckling under my breath as I read them to you!  Seriously, the looks on your faces are hysterical.  

As a matter of fact, sometimes I even ask you guys questions that I didn't actually lecture on.  The funny thing?  Whenever you ask if we covered it in class, I'm adamant that we did and I'll even tell you the exact date we "covered it."  Then I watch you act like you suddenly remember us going over it now.  Priceless!

Anyway, I'm getting carried away with myself.  There's a lot of proof that these ratings are fixed, but the greatest proof is easily this:

Out of two people who rated the Don, I got zero hotness points.

I'm very hot.

2 comments:

kyle said...

"As a matter of fact, sometimes I even ask you guys questions that I didn't actually lecture on. The funny thing? Whenever you ask if we covered it in class, I'm adamant that we did and I'll even tell you the exact date we "covered it." Then I watch you act like you suddenly remember us going over it now. Priceless!"

That is the funniest thing I've read in a long time. Thanks for the laugh!!!

Anonymous said...

"I'm very hot."

I'm stll choking. Don't make me laugh like that when I'm drinking!